Sodden Summer 2009

Am I dissolving into youth again?
Revisiting pubescence?
Once again I find myself unexpectedly full of emotions
Most of them as unwieldy and difficult to deal with as a suitcase with one wheel
Weighting me down at the airport, making me oh so late and I will miss my flight.

I have already missed my flight.
Now I am sunk in melancholy, twisted up in angst.
Every sunbeam is beautiful, but they blush me red and remind me that I am pinned to the earth.
I am missing my flight.

Every raincloud is so apropos. It suits my mood, and even my clothes are turning gray to match.
When lighting flashes it is an expression of my anger stabbing into the ground
It can be felt in the earth that is still right underfoot.
And it's so frustrating because I'm grounded.

Torrential downpours of hormones fall on my head.
They soak every inch of my skin and dampen my surroundings.
So that I am sodden with lust, soaked with
and saturated with emotions that change as quickly as the color of the sky changes.
And it changes quickly during this summer I spend not going but staying.

Who knows when I will feel lifted again?
Who knows when I'll grow the fuck up and stop wallowing?
When I can't find the answers I find myself falling back
To the things that soothed me when I was young and frustrated,
I pick up my pen (which is really a mac book, but in my mind's eye a pen) and I write.
I need to have something to do
Until I can catch the next flight.